| I went to see the movie "Mud" at the Neon Movies this afternoon (good movie by the way). After the movie ended I made a quick trip to the restroom and, because I'm a jerk, grabbed a handful of the red & white breath mints from the tray next to the sink. When I jammed them all in my front pants pocket I noticed that one was unwrapped and really sticky. I licked the stickiness off my fingers and headed out of the theater. I got to my car and pulled all of the breath mints out of my pocket and stashed them away into one of the cup holders. Once again I noticed my hand got really sticky from the unwrapped breath mint and so I licked at my fingers and headed down the road. On the way home I made a quick stop at a music store to grab a CD that I had squirreled away over the weekend. Then I stopped at a Subway, but it was too crowded, and so I went to Jimmy John's instead. I finally got home at about 5:30 and as per usual immediately slipped into a t-shirt and shorts. When I went to take my jeans off I noticed, very much to my surprise, that the unwrapped and very sticky breath mint was stuck to the front of my jeans. Apparently it had fallen into my lap when I transferred the mints from my pocket to the cup holder of my car. And when I say that the mint was stuck to the front of my jeans, I do mean the front of my jeans - right in the middle, exactly half way between my belt and my crotch. Yep. That's right. I had just spent the last 45 minutes walking around town with a breath mint stuck to my fly. Unfortunately, I was unaware of this because my belly hid it from my view. But I am fairly certain that it was not hidden from anyone else because - trust me - a red and white breath minute attached to a pair of black jeans is hard to miss.
I have no idea how many people at the music store or the two subway shops noticed my strategically located breath mint. I also have no idea whether anyone thought that I may have placed the breath mint there intentionally. And finally, I have no idea what anyone may have thought I meant by doing this.
What I do know is this: 1) I want to put all of this behind me; 2) I do not want to visit any of those three stores for at least a month; 3) I want to begin the healing process; and 4) I want to get on with my life.
|
