. . . . . (somewhere in Dayton, Ohio (Patterson Road?) . . . the early 80s).
Monday, October 26, 2009
"I'm Looking For The Optometrist's Office - Have You Seen An Eye Doctor's Office Around Here?"
. . . . . (somewhere in Dayton, Ohio (Patterson Road?) . . . the early 80s).
Introducing . . . The Freedom Project
.
The "Freedom Alert" Guide
Current Status: HIGH (Orange)
(see ADDENDUM below for a guide to the color codes)
Over the past couple of weeks I have been watching the Fox News Network and also viewing and reviewing many of the "Tea Party" events featured on YouTube (see October 24th blog entry below).
The common theme that seems to run through most of the Fox News reports and the "Tea Party" videos is "freedom." According to Fox News and many of the Tea Party groups, since President Obama's inauguration, we have either:
a) lost some of our freedoms
b) are in the process of losing some of our freedoms
or
c) will lose some of our freedoms soon
Well, I have always been quite fond of my freedom(s) and so I find these reports troubling.
But what I find even more troubling is that no one is keeping a record of what is going on. How will future generations know what happened to us if there is no historical documentation?
That is why I am taking this time to announce to the American people . . . The Freedom Project.
I am asking anyone and everyone to submit to me a list of the freedoms that they have lost since President Obama's inauguration on January 20th, 2009.
Here is the format for sending the information to me:
1) YOUR NAME (optional)
2) WHAT FREEDOM DID YOU LOSE (please be specific)?
3) IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU SIMPLY MISPLACED THE FREEDOM? (if "Yes," look around - perhaps you left it with your car keys; if "No," continue with question number four)
4) ON WHAT DAY (and at what time, if possible) DID YOU REALIZE THE FREEDOM WAS MISSING?
5) WHERE WERE YOU WHEN YOU FIRST NOTICED THE FREEDOM WAS NO LONGER A PART OF YOUR REGULAR REGIMEN, OR "PACKET," OF FREEDOMS?
6) DID YOU NOTICE ANY SUSPICIOUS CHARACTERS IN THE AREA AT THE TIME OF YOUR LOSS?
Also, as a service to the blogging community, I will be maintaining a "Freedom Alert" color-coded guide (pictured above). Blog readers will be able to consult the "Freedom Alert" to find out the current status of their freedoms.
The current freedom status, as of this blog post, is:
HIGH (Orange)
I would like to start The Freedom Project information collecting process immediately.
Please begin submitting a list of your lost freedoms now.
While you still can.
Thank you.
ADDENDUM
Guide to the "Freedom Alert" color codes (with recommended responses):
SEVERE - Severe rise in freedoms lost (QUICK! look behind you!)
HIGH - High rise in freedoms lost (s l o w l y look behind you)
ELEVATED - Significant rise in freedoms lost (walk backwards)
GUARDED - General rise in freedoms lost (whistle, as if passing graveyard)
LOW - Low rise in freedoms lost (watch TV)
.
The "Freedom Alert" Guide
Current Status: HIGH (Orange)
(see ADDENDUM below for a guide to the color codes)
Over the past couple of weeks I have been watching the Fox News Network and also viewing and reviewing many of the "Tea Party" events featured on YouTube (see October 24th blog entry below).
The common theme that seems to run through most of the Fox News reports and the "Tea Party" videos is "freedom." According to Fox News and many of the Tea Party groups, since President Obama's inauguration, we have either:
a) lost some of our freedoms
b) are in the process of losing some of our freedoms
or
c) will lose some of our freedoms soon
Well, I have always been quite fond of my freedom(s) and so I find these reports troubling.
But what I find even more troubling is that no one is keeping a record of what is going on. How will future generations know what happened to us if there is no historical documentation?
That is why I am taking this time to announce to the American people . . . The Freedom Project.
I am asking anyone and everyone to submit to me a list of the freedoms that they have lost since President Obama's inauguration on January 20th, 2009.
Here is the format for sending the information to me:
1) YOUR NAME (optional)
2) WHAT FREEDOM DID YOU LOSE (please be specific)?
3) IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU SIMPLY MISPLACED THE FREEDOM? (if "Yes," look around - perhaps you left it with your car keys; if "No," continue with question number four)
4) ON WHAT DAY (and at what time, if possible) DID YOU REALIZE THE FREEDOM WAS MISSING?
5) WHERE WERE YOU WHEN YOU FIRST NOTICED THE FREEDOM WAS NO LONGER A PART OF YOUR REGULAR REGIMEN, OR "PACKET," OF FREEDOMS?
6) DID YOU NOTICE ANY SUSPICIOUS CHARACTERS IN THE AREA AT THE TIME OF YOUR LOSS?
Also, as a service to the blogging community, I will be maintaining a "Freedom Alert" color-coded guide (pictured above). Blog readers will be able to consult the "Freedom Alert" to find out the current status of their freedoms.
The current freedom status, as of this blog post, is:
HIGH (Orange)
I would like to start The Freedom Project information collecting process immediately.
Please begin submitting a list of your lost freedoms now.
While you still can.
Thank you.
ADDENDUM
Guide to the "Freedom Alert" color codes (with recommended responses):
SEVERE - Severe rise in freedoms lost (QUICK! look behind you!)
HIGH - High rise in freedoms lost (s l o w l y look behind you)
ELEVATED - Significant rise in freedoms lost (walk backwards)
GUARDED - General rise in freedoms lost (whistle, as if passing graveyard)
LOW - Low rise in freedoms lost (watch TV)
.
An Apology
.
During the first several months of this year a lengthy relationship and friendship of mine came to an end.
I have written quite a bit about that experience and several of those items have appeared on this blog.
Posting those entries in a public forum was a serious error in judgment that I very much regret. The fact that only a handful of people read this blog is irrelevant. The subject matter was private and personal and it should have remained so.
For whatever good it may do at this time I have removed those entries from the blog.
This is my apology to Suzanne.
I'm sorry.
Kevin
.
During the first several months of this year a lengthy relationship and friendship of mine came to an end.
I have written quite a bit about that experience and several of those items have appeared on this blog.
Posting those entries in a public forum was a serious error in judgment that I very much regret. The fact that only a handful of people read this blog is irrelevant. The subject matter was private and personal and it should have remained so.
For whatever good it may do at this time I have removed those entries from the blog.
This is my apology to Suzanne.
I'm sorry.
Kevin
.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Finally! . . . Financially Comfortable White People With Health Insurance Are Standing Up And Demanding That No One Else Get What They Have!
.
. . . . . . . . . "I am not supporting Joe Wilson for President"
(comment from the above sign carrier, see YouTube video below)
I'm not sure if anyone else has been following these well-manicured grassroots "Tea Party" political rallies that are sprouting up within specific demographic groups across the suburbs and non-inner cities of certain parts of our great country.
We had one in Springboro Ohio yesterday.
Basically, a "Tea Party" is an opportunity for financially comfortable white people with health insurance to come together and chant:
"We Are Financially Comfortable White People With Health Insurance And We Aren't Going To Take It Anymore! . . . Uh . . . By 'Take It' We Mean Allow The Government To Let Anyone Else 'Have It' (The Latter 'It' Of Course Being A Reference To Our Previously Mentioned Financial Comfortableness And Health Insurance)!"
I tell you what, no matter what your political leanings may be, one can't help but marvel at the ability of the "Tea Partiers" to chant that lengthy slogan in absolute perfect unison.
Why their cadence is simply impeccable!
I mean, sure, the slogan itself is a tad cumbersome, but give these folks a break - this "protest" stuff is relatively new to them. Most of them have never had the need to ask for anything, and some of them haven't had to march and demand that someone else *not* get something since the early 60s civil rights movement, so they're bound to be a little rusty.
Fox News has also been quite impressed with the numbers of people from "varying walks of life" who are showing up for these events. One intrepid and truly inspired Fox reporter referred to the crowd at one of the Tea Party get-togethers as "a wonderful cross-section of the country . . . a true quilt of the American people."
Hmmm . . . a quilt . . .
Well, I suppose one man's quilt is another man's white sheet.
For some excellent interviews with several Washington D.C. "Tea Party" attendees (including the "Joe Wilson For President" sign carrier quoted above!), please click on the YouTube link below.
It's scary *and* fun! Perfect entertainment for the Halloween season!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUPMjC9mq5Y
.
. . . . . . . . . "I am not supporting Joe Wilson for President"
(comment from the above sign carrier, see YouTube video below)
I'm not sure if anyone else has been following these well-manicured grassroots "Tea Party" political rallies that are sprouting up within specific demographic groups across the suburbs and non-inner cities of certain parts of our great country.
We had one in Springboro Ohio yesterday.
Basically, a "Tea Party" is an opportunity for financially comfortable white people with health insurance to come together and chant:
"We Are Financially Comfortable White People With Health Insurance And We Aren't Going To Take It Anymore! . . . Uh . . . By 'Take It' We Mean Allow The Government To Let Anyone Else 'Have It' (The Latter 'It' Of Course Being A Reference To Our Previously Mentioned Financial Comfortableness And Health Insurance)!"
I tell you what, no matter what your political leanings may be, one can't help but marvel at the ability of the "Tea Partiers" to chant that lengthy slogan in absolute perfect unison.
Why their cadence is simply impeccable!
I mean, sure, the slogan itself is a tad cumbersome, but give these folks a break - this "protest" stuff is relatively new to them. Most of them have never had the need to ask for anything, and some of them haven't had to march and demand that someone else *not* get something since the early 60s civil rights movement, so they're bound to be a little rusty.
Fox News has also been quite impressed with the numbers of people from "varying walks of life" who are showing up for these events. One intrepid and truly inspired Fox reporter referred to the crowd at one of the Tea Party get-togethers as "a wonderful cross-section of the country . . . a true quilt of the American people."
Hmmm . . . a quilt . . .
Well, I suppose one man's quilt is another man's white sheet.
For some excellent interviews with several Washington D.C. "Tea Party" attendees (including the "Joe Wilson For President" sign carrier quoted above!), please click on the YouTube link below.
It's scary *and* fun! Perfect entertainment for the Halloween season!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUPMjC9mq5Y
.
Otis Elevator Company, South Main Street, Dayton, Ohio
.
I sense an architectural reluctance on the part of the Otis Elevator Company to fully commit to the viability of their product.
.
I sense an architectural reluctance on the part of the Otis Elevator Company to fully commit to the viability of their product.
.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Cool Beans . . . Beans Of Coolness
.
Dave Eggers has been editing THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING annual publication for quite a few years now. The book is part of the "Best American" series (Best American Comics, Best American Essays, etc.) and . . .
Wait a second . . .
Well I'll be darned . . .
I just happened to be leafing through the latest edition of the series and in the following section of Part One:
Look what I find:
Why it's none other than Dayton, Ohio's very own favorite sons!
That's some pretty cool beans right there that's what that is.
[Editor's Note: from one editor (me) to another (Mr. Eggers) - if you think that the band's name is pretty hip, you should check out their music]
By the way, the NONREQUIRED READING collection is probably my favorite in the "Best American" series. The annual volumes tend to feature newer and lesser known writers (the NONREQUIRED READING "editorial board/reading committee" consists of high school and college age writers). The writing and art work is also slightly more experimental, but not painfully or impenetrably so. Each annual edition is typically a "hit or miss" affair, but some of the hits are home runs, and even the misses tend to be, at the very least, interesting and unique.
Check it out.
The book is published by Mariner, a division of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. It should be available at most book stores and larger public libraries.
The Dayton Metro Library has four copies of the book available. Well, actually three, because copy number four is currently in my mitts.
The price of the book at the book store is $14.00.
The price of the book at the Dayton Metro Library is $0.00.
I'm not really that good at math so I'll let you decide which is the best deal for you.
.
Dave Eggers has been editing THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING annual publication for quite a few years now. The book is part of the "Best American" series (Best American Comics, Best American Essays, etc.) and . . .
Wait a second . . .
Well I'll be darned . . .
I just happened to be leafing through the latest edition of the series and in the following section of Part One:
Look what I find:
Why it's none other than Dayton, Ohio's very own favorite sons!
That's some pretty cool beans right there that's what that is.
[Editor's Note: from one editor (me) to another (Mr. Eggers) - if you think that the band's name is pretty hip, you should check out their music]
By the way, the NONREQUIRED READING collection is probably my favorite in the "Best American" series. The annual volumes tend to feature newer and lesser known writers (the NONREQUIRED READING "editorial board/reading committee" consists of high school and college age writers). The writing and art work is also slightly more experimental, but not painfully or impenetrably so. Each annual edition is typically a "hit or miss" affair, but some of the hits are home runs, and even the misses tend to be, at the very least, interesting and unique.
Check it out.
The book is published by Mariner, a division of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. It should be available at most book stores and larger public libraries.
The Dayton Metro Library has four copies of the book available. Well, actually three, because copy number four is currently in my mitts.
The price of the book at the book store is $14.00.
The price of the book at the Dayton Metro Library is $0.00.
I'm not really that good at math so I'll let you decide which is the best deal for you.
.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
The End Is Nigh.
.
That's right.
Your days are numbered.
On Saturday, October 17th, you will have one of your last chances to experience the band that we all know and love as ANDREW AND THE PRETTY PUNCHERS.
With a new album and a CD release show coming (late-November/early December?), and some band members moving on to other projects soon after that, your days are truly numbered.
Don't miss out on this unique and startling rock and roll opportunity.
What will you tell your grandkids?
That you were too busy? That you didn't care for "the bar scene?" That you had other plans that night?
You *know* they're going to ask.
Why pretend otherwise?
SEE YOU SATURDAY, OCTOBER 17th AROUND 9:00 AT THE SOUTH PARK TAVERN!
[The South Park Tavern is located on Wayne Avenue, three blocks west/northwest of the Wayne and Wyoming intersection]
.
That's right.
Your days are numbered.
On Saturday, October 17th, you will have one of your last chances to experience the band that we all know and love as ANDREW AND THE PRETTY PUNCHERS.
With a new album and a CD release show coming (late-November/early December?), and some band members moving on to other projects soon after that, your days are truly numbered.
Don't miss out on this unique and startling rock and roll opportunity.
What will you tell your grandkids?
That you were too busy? That you didn't care for "the bar scene?" That you had other plans that night?
You *know* they're going to ask.
Why pretend otherwise?
SEE YOU SATURDAY, OCTOBER 17th AROUND 9:00 AT THE SOUTH PARK TAVERN!
[The South Park Tavern is located on Wayne Avenue, three blocks west/northwest of the Wayne and Wyoming intersection]
.
Dear "Master"
.
Marley here.
Nice to see that the most recent blog entry below was a light-hearted one. I was beginning to get a little worried about you.
Now granted, those comments that you shared in the previous blog entries were pretty brutal, especially to hear *from* loved ones *about* a recently departed loved one, but still . . .
I'm just wondering if maybe your "reading minions" (you did say "minions" right? or was it "millions?") might get a tad fidgety, if not downright uncomfortable, reading some of that stuff. I mean this is a public blog, not a private journal.
Then again, I understand that you are being told repeatedly that you need to find someway to get your pain and anger out, and so maybe I shouldn't quibble about which avenue works best for you. Also - I'm fairly certain that it doesn't help that we are slowly sneaking up on the first anniversary of your sister's death.
Well anyway . . . just food for thought.
No hard feelings, I hope.
Love,
Marley
.
Marley here.
Nice to see that the most recent blog entry below was a light-hearted one. I was beginning to get a little worried about you.
Now granted, those comments that you shared in the previous blog entries were pretty brutal, especially to hear *from* loved ones *about* a recently departed loved one, but still . . .
I'm just wondering if maybe your "reading minions" (you did say "minions" right? or was it "millions?") might get a tad fidgety, if not downright uncomfortable, reading some of that stuff. I mean this is a public blog, not a private journal.
Then again, I understand that you are being told repeatedly that you need to find someway to get your pain and anger out, and so maybe I shouldn't quibble about which avenue works best for you. Also - I'm fairly certain that it doesn't help that we are slowly sneaking up on the first anniversary of your sister's death.
Well anyway . . . just food for thought.
No hard feelings, I hope.
Love,
Marley
.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Fun With Famous Phrases!
.
Here's a fun little word game for you, compliments of your friends here at "kevin's myth."
DIRECTIONS: Think of any famous proverb, saying, quote, axiom, etc. Now shorten the famous saying to give it a whole new meaning. You cannot add words, or change the order of the words. You can only shorten the original saying.
Here are a few examples to get you started. The new saying is in bold-faced red italics with the original ending of the famous saying in gray typeface:
"I regret that I have but one life to give to my country"
(the short-changed cat's lament)
"*You* can lead a horse to water, but *you* can't make him drink"
(ranch owner appraising the equestrian skills of two new cowhands)
"We've got to get to the bottom of this"
(motto of the Derriere Appreciation Society)
"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence"
(one of the many benefits of house-breaking your puppy)
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"
(sinning is too easy)
"What goes up, must come down"
(male sexual tunnel(ing?) vision)
"Don't do the crime if you can't do the time"
(basic logic)
"Et tu, Brute?"
(Jeffrey Dahmer's response when asked how is it that he killed 19 people but only 17 bodies were found)
"Don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes"
(old Negro slavery rebellion saying - believed to have re-surfaced during the Watts riots of 1965)
Now wasn't that fun?!
Feel free to add your very own "Fun With Famous Phrases!" entries to the "comments" section below.
C-mon! Give it a try! You know you want to play!
AND DON'T FORGET . . . COMING VERY SOON! . . .
"Today In World History!"
A brand new syndicated series where we will learn some truly fascinating, and relatively unknown, random anecdotes about . . . you guessed it! . . .
World history!
Hosting this regular series will be none other than the esteemed Dr. Marley Willis-Smith, professor emeritus at Tufts University in Boston.
"Kev? You *really* need to start volunteering somewhere"
(imagined Peggy response to this blog entry)
.
Here's a fun little word game for you, compliments of your friends here at "kevin's myth."
DIRECTIONS: Think of any famous proverb, saying, quote, axiom, etc. Now shorten the famous saying to give it a whole new meaning. You cannot add words, or change the order of the words. You can only shorten the original saying.
Here are a few examples to get you started. The new saying is in bold-faced red italics with the original ending of the famous saying in gray typeface:
"I regret that I have but one life to give to my country"
(the short-changed cat's lament)
"*You* can lead a horse to water, but *you* can't make him drink"
(ranch owner appraising the equestrian skills of two new cowhands)
"We've got to get to the bottom of this"
(motto of the Derriere Appreciation Society)
"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence"
(one of the many benefits of house-breaking your puppy)
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"
(sinning is too easy)
"What goes up, must come down"
(male sexual tunnel(ing?) vision)
"Don't do the crime if you can't do the time"
(basic logic)
"Et tu, Brute?"
(Jeffrey Dahmer's response when asked how is it that he killed 19 people but only 17 bodies were found)
"Don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes"
(old Negro slavery rebellion saying - believed to have re-surfaced during the Watts riots of 1965)
Now wasn't that fun?!
Feel free to add your very own "Fun With Famous Phrases!" entries to the "comments" section below.
C-mon! Give it a try! You know you want to play!
AND DON'T FORGET . . . COMING VERY SOON! . . .
"Today In World History!"
A brand new syndicated series where we will learn some truly fascinating, and relatively unknown, random anecdotes about . . . you guessed it! . . .
World history!
Hosting this regular series will be none other than the esteemed Dr. Marley Willis-Smith, professor emeritus at Tufts University in Boston.
"Kev? You *really* need to start volunteering somewhere"
(imagined Peggy response to this blog entry)
.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Thursday, October 2, 2008
.
One year ago today my sister Peggy walked into the Gander Mountain store at 8001 Old Troy Pike in Huber Heights, Ohio and bought a Smith & Wesson .38 calibre handgun - a "high-end Saturday night special" I was told - that obviously works quite effectively (i.e. is "special") on Sundays as well. I can only assume that its performance on week nights is also "special."
Oddly enough, later that same day, Peggy e-mailed me from work and asked if I could check with my friend Susan (a nurse) to see if she could recommend a urologist for Peggy.
Apparently, when my sister got home that night, she hid the gun and gun holster in a handbag in the back of a bedroom closet. It was probably already loaded with a single bullet as no box of ammunition was ever found. It appears that the gun remained in the closet for the next six weeks.
"Peggy? . . . "
"What the *hell* are you doing?"
"Fess up, sis"
"Was the urologist question just a ruse, or a decoy, to preempt me from asking how you were doing, or what you had done, that day? . . . Or maybe to keep the subject on physical ailments instead of mental health issues?
"You got six weeks left to talk"
"A *gun* Peggy? . . . What the hell?!"
"What's goin' on?"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Peggy and Lil' Con (my sister Connie)).
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