"This song's for my Aunt Peggy . . . "

I just returned from a great set by ANDREW AND THE PRETTY PUNCHERS at Blind Bob's in the Oregon district.

Actually it was 3/4 of the PRETTY PUNCHERS as lead guitarist Kevin "Clapton? . . . sorry - never heard of the fella" Rogers was unable to make the gig.

Tonight was personally special for both myself and my brother Tim as we heard the premier performance of the song "Hide And Seek" that was written on November 17th, the day after we lost our sister Peggy.

The song is surprisingly upbeat and poppy (just the way Peggy would want it I suspect). Actually the music, and the deceptively casual, almost conversational lyrics, lend themselves very well to the shock and disbelief - the "this hasn't really happened" feeling - that I know lots of folks were experiencing those first few days (and still, perhaps).

Here are some of the lines that I think I heard:
"you took the short road"

"i closed my eyes and you were gone"

"it'll be strange living here without you
.don't know what everybody's gonna do"

And the child-like question "where'd you go?" is repeated throughout the song.

A wonderful song in its own right, and pretty damn special when placed in context.

As simple as it may sound, I am amazed how many times in the past three months I have asked that same basic question: "Where'd you go?"

I also think it's interesting that at the same time my son was fine-tuning/arranging a song for his aunt titled "Hide And Seek," I was going through hundreds of pictures for a photo essay/blog entry in her memory that ends with this line:
you ran, but you cannot hide. 
In conclusion, I would like to offer my heartfelt "thank you" to ANDREW AND THE PRETTY PUNCHERS for remembering my sister Peggy in such a special way. You guys are the best, in more ways than one.














"hey - we're in this thing together, right?"
.(a. smith to k. smith, 2/12/09)
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OH MY GOD! Argentina Is About To Be Invaded By A Giant Needle Dick!

No it isn't, ya silly goose.

Au contraire!

Argentina is about to become the 49th nation served by that incredible "music without borders" eBay institution that we all know and love as jumbostatz.

That's right.

Argentina is about to be admitted into the jumbostatz League of Musical Nations!





A gentleman named "Eduardo Lobosco" from Buenos Aires, Argentina has just purchased the hard-to-find CD titled "The Best Of Meco." Eduardo's CD will be mailed tomorrow morning because as you all know - we here at jumbostatz *always* ship within 24 hours of your purchase.

Some of you may remember "Meco" as the [ahem] "musical innovator" of Italian descent from Johnsonburg, Pennsylvania. In 1977 Meco let his imagination get the better of him when he merged disco beats with the Star Wars movie soundtrack. The result (in addition to other "galactic funk") was the 15-minute disco track entitled "Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band."

Over the course of the next couple of years other soundtracks, including "The Wizard Of Oz," were "Meco-nized," but none of them proved as commercially successful as the "Star Wars" endeavor.

Meco did all of this, even though - to the best of my knowledge - nobody ever did anything to him.






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But enough about Meco.

Let's give a great big "WELCOME!" to Argentina - the 49th member of the ever-expanding and seemingly endless jumbostatz League of Musical Nations!


"Jumbostatz . . . bringing *all* of the music to *all* of the people since August 2001!"





"my only regret is that we here at jumbostatz have but one world to serve"
.(j. statz)

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another one for the "that's some weird ass shit right there, that's what that is" file

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ok, so at about 11:30 this morning i'm upstairs drifting in and out of sleep when i hear a fairly loud noise. usually this means that marley the cat is rubbing the sides of his cheeks up against a row of my record albums and he inadvertently tips them forward. but that's normally a "thud" sound and this was more like a crack.

so i head downstairs to investigate.

just to the right of the bottom of the stairs i find that my parent's "gaelic blessing" ceramic plaque (pictured above) has slipped off its nail and is lying cracked on the kitchen's tile floor. the nail is still in the wall, as are the two pictures of me mum and pop that i had taped above and below the plaque. as soon as i saw it broken on the floor i thought the same thing that you're probably thinking right now: "that's some weird ass shit right there, that's what that is."

my plan was to eventually take one of the mom and pop pictures down and replace it with a photo of my recently departed sister, peggy. i think that i was delaying that ceremonial event because i'm still pissed at her for playing with guns. make that - *using* a gun and playing with lives.

thankfully i'm fairly skeptical of most of that "premonition/what does it all mean?" crap, and so this didn't freak me out near as much as you would imagine. it actually almost made me laugh with its over-the-top "it's a message from the great beyond!" obviousness.

i was thinking later that those "roads" mentioned on the plaque - the ones that have "risen up" to greet so many people over the years - have probably suffered some wear and tear, and so maybe this was some kind of ploy to secure some of the infrastructure funds that are going to be in the obama stimulus package ("obama stimulus package" . . . why i did just imagine several of my female friends swooning?). but that "ploy" would be "a message from the great beyond" and i don't put no truck in them kinds of shenanigans, remember?

in summary then: i don't take the broken plaque to be no stinkin' omen, no way no how - but feel free to try to convince me otherwise. and of course i don't take it as a play for federal funds (ol' kev was just funnin' with ya on that one, and besides - although my knowledge of international law is limited - i suspect that all of those roads referred to in the old gaelic blessing are probably not even our fiscal responsibilty).

so i believe that i will simply have to place this admittedly unusual occurrence in that ever burgeoning collection that we (i.e. i) have come to know and love as the "that's some weird ass shit right there, that's what that is" file.

thank you.



NIGHTMARE UPDATE: no additional door busting, gun-wielding "attack" night terrors, and/or unknown, completely covered, whispering female bedmates to report (yay! . . . knock on wood).

however, i do continue to dream about guns on occasion. two nights ago i dreamed that peggy and i were sitting next to each other casually looking through a gun catalog(?!).

i think that the last time peggy and i sat down next to each other to look at a magazine was probably about 19 aught 64. she would let out a little scream every time we turned the page and there was a picture of paul, while i would get pissed because there were hardly any photos of ringo.

so it's gun catalogs now, eh?

damn - my sister sure has turned into a weird chick since she died.

death *really* changes people.

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Friday Night's Show

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The Buddha Den, Dayton's premier music blog, reviews last night's ANDREW AND THE PRETTY PUNCHERS show:

"You could feel it as soon as you walked in the door. With the near glacial avenues of Dayton finally reemerging as legitimate walkways, the need to break out into the streets was overwhelming.

Even early on in the night the restless crowds poured into J-Alan's, seeking any sort of respite from the tedium that has beleaguered this city in the throes of winter . . .

Following a short but spirited set by Mascot, Jesse Remnant offered a sparkling set of pop gems from his highly underrated debut, The Human Cannonball, as well as string of masterpieces from Guided By Voices' Bee Thousand, that induced the revelers into a momentary singalong . . .

. . . without a doubt, however, the din had come to witness ANDREW AND THE PRETTY PUNCHERS.

Over the past 18 or so months, each subsequent appearance garners further accolades from their peers and adulation from their audiences. Yet again, this formidable unit stepped into the lights and channeled the collective angst and optimism of life in this post-industrial wasteland.

Unraveling tales of drunken nights and jaded hope, in their unbridled enthusiasm ANDREW AND THE PRETTY PUNCHERS deliver a catharsis that, if only for a brief shining moment, enables this sleepy city to revel in near-perfect rock n' roll bliss . . . "

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QUOTES

"I want you happy because when you are happy I want you"
(K. Smith)

"whoever remains childlike longest, wins
(k. smith)

"Trying to exorcise pain and grief with angry words is a tempting
shortcut. It is cheap and easy. But it is only relief masquerading
as peace of mind. In due time you will get what you paid for:
deeper in debt, regret, and pain."
(K. Smith)

"life is good

but it has a nasty mean streak"
(k. smith)

"Deepest East Dayton is not a place that you can visit. It cannot be found on a map. Deepest East Dayton is the 51st state in the Union. It is a state of mind, and the state of mine."
(K. Smith)

"love like a child

and trust like a fool"

(a. smith)

"I never thought that I would live to see a black man elected President, and the reaction to that election by some people reminds me almost everyday why I never thought that I would live to see a black man elected President."
(k. smith)

"if you can't stand the heat
stop burning bridges"
(k. smith)


"dreams come true in heaven all the time,but baby, what on earth are we to do?" (ron sexsmith)


DOCTOR: In some cases the symptoms could spread to the testicular glands.
PETER: Big deal, so I wear socks.
DOCTOR: Mr. Griffin, your testicles are not on your feet.
PETER: Oh, where are they?
DOCTOR: Under your penis.
PETER: Are you kidding? I always thought those were two little sandbags to keep floodwaters from floating into my bum

("Family Guy")

"I need a steam shovel mama
.to keep away the dead
.I need a dump truck mama
.to unload my head"
.(b. dylan)

"trial by affliction & light sleeping
.i need a tour guide for my head"
.(r. pollard)


Virginia Mayo: I'd look good in a mink coat, honey.
James Cagney: You'd look good in a shower curtain.
(from White Heat, 1949)

"and this loneliness won't leave me alone"
(j. cliff)

"love is my foundation
wisdom is my capital . . .
truth is my redeemer
& sorrow my companion"
(j. cliff)



"love like the child
.& trust like a fool
.kiss the blue lips of depression
.abandon all doubt
.like trash to the can
.but hold onto all yr good lessons"
.(andrew smith)

"this old house is a-tumbling down
.the walls are gone
.but the roof is sound
.it’s time to ring some changes"
.(richard thompson)

.
"i'm not sure about the 'good intentions' part, but the road to hell is definitely paved"
(K. Smith)

"if God doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in some seriously deep shit"
(K. Smith)

"humor is the last refuge - PERIOD."
(k. smith)


"and our love was a song
i hadn't heard in so long
and by the second verse
i forgot why i liked it"
(a. smith)


"i'm over the city
fucking the future
i'm high inside your kiss"
(sonic youth)

"i don't need to fight
.to prove i'm right
.i don't need to be forgiven"
.(p. townshend)

"I am hanging in the balance of the reality of man
Like every sparrow falling, like every grain of sand"
(B. Dylan)

"Every child of God's a brat"
(R. Pollard)

"You're finding out
that it's way too late
to be happy around your friends
You changed your head
and made your bed
through time, circumstances & medicines
You lied a lot
created a plot
to escort you safely away"
(R. Pollard)


"I'm in love - what's that song? I'm in love -
with that song"
(p. westerberg)


"little boy lost, he takes himself so seriously,
he brags of his misery, he likes to live dangerously"

(b. dylan)

“I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.”

(Mitch Hedberg)

"Irish music is guts, balls & feet - it's a frenetic dance" . . . . . "I'm just following the Irish tradition of songwriting, the Irish way of life, the human way of life. Cram as much pleasure into life, and rail against the pain you have to suffer as a result. Or scream and rant with the pain, and wait for it to be taken away with beautiful pleasure" . . . . . "The most important thing to remember about drunks is that drunks are far more intelligent than non-drunks. They spend a lot of time talking in pubs, unlike workaholics who concentrate on their careers and ambitions and never develop their higher spiritual values, who never explore the insides of their head like a drunk does" . . . . . "The British press have been giving me six months to live for the past twenty years - they must be getting pissed off interviewing me by now"

(Shane MacGowan, singer & songwriter extraordinaire, The Pogues)


"Good photography is not about 'Zone Printing' or any other Ansel Adams nonsense. It's just about seeing. You either see, or you don't see" . . . . . "It's about time we started taking photography seriously and treated it like a hobby" . . . . . "I do not like landscapes. I like people - and plastic flowers" . . . . . “I think that photography is about finding something interesting in an ordinary place. You just have to care about what's around you and have a concern with humanity and the human comedy”

(Elliott Erwitt, photographer)


“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.”

(a. einstein)


"tell your ma
.tell your pa
.our love's gonna grow
.oh - oo-wa, oo-wa"

.(b. dylan)


"life is short
and full of stuff"

(the cramps)


"i'm not sure that i'm sold on this "heaven" stuff. i mean, it's a *gated* community w/a *bouncer* for christ's sake (literally perhaps?). sure, peter is a "saint of a guy" & the gates are pearly, but still . . ."

(k. smith)


"man, middle age sure has turned me into a weak son of a bitch. i went to the gym the other day - figured i'd start out with some bench presses. that didn't go so good. i had to take off two rings and my damn wrist watch before i could even bench press my own hands!"

(k. smith)


"my weariness amazes me
i'm branded on my feet
i have no one to meet
and my ancient empty street's
too dead for dreamin'"

(b. dylan)


"if you find that love & sex continue to elude you, you may want to consider purchasing some rope, or duct tape - and perhaps a good solid dead bolt"

(k. smith)


"the question of sexual preference has always been a no-brainer for me. i prefer having it."

(k. smith)


" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "

(helen keller)


"is the glass half empty
or half full of shit?"

(kevin smith)


"the cramps . . .
they ooze
you'll throb"

(record label promo)


"good manners & bad breath
will get you nowhere"

(elvis costello)


"the only thing we knew for sure about henry porter
is that his name wasn't henry porter"

(bob dylan)

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Lux Interior 1947-2009

.

. . . .. . . . . . . . . . ... . . . . . "life is short

. . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . .. . ... & full of stuff"

. . . . . . . . . .. . .. . . . . . . . .. (the cramps)


"LUX INTERIOR, lead singer of influential garage-punk act THE CRAMPS, died Wednesday morning (February 4) due to an existing heart condition, according to a statement from the band's publicist. He was 62." (LA Times, Wednesday, 2/4/09)



"you ain't no punk, you punk!
.you wanna talk about the real junk?"
. (the cramps)


I first stumbled onto The Cramps in 1979 on the very first weekend after I moved to Kent, Ohio to start graduate school at Kent State University. Finding where my classrooms were located could wait. My first job was to locate the coolest record store. That happened to be the Kent Community Store - the *only* record store in town.

This was a pretty heady time for music in northeastern Ohio and so I was hoping that maybe I would stumble onto The Dead Boys hanging out at the record store, or better yet - maybe Devo standing around (still film students at Kent State at the time i believe), or better still - Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders, outside the record store leaning on a parking meter in her black leather pants, or better yet -

. . .

"leanin' on a parkin' meter
humpin' on a parkin' meter"
(patti smith)


Uh - sorry about that. I was trying to think of something better than a 1979 Chrissie Hynde in black leather pants leaning on a parking meter and I kinda drew a blank.

Unfortunately, there was no such rock star sighting when I entered the store. Just some *very large* customer with an oddly effiminate voice (imagine Truman Capote crossed with Andy Warhol) dropping off a big stack of 7 inch 45s.

However, there *was* this incredible song playing on the store stereo. It was some whacked-out guy with a psycho-Elvis voice (Presley that is) singing:

"Well, I'm a human fly, that's spelled f-l-y
I say 'buzz-buzz-buzz' and it's just becuzz
Yes I'm a human fly and I don't know why
I got ninety-six tears in ninety-six eyes"

I immediately walked up to the counter and asked the clerk what was playing and he said: "This is "Human Fly" - it's from the new 6 song EP by The Cramps called "Gravest Hits."

I said "I'll take one please."

After looking around a bit more I started towards the door and the very large customer dropping off the 45s at the counter kind of nodded at me.

I returned later that week and the same guy was working and he asked "So - you enjoying that Cramps record you bought?" I said "Absolutely - it's great stuff."

We small-talked a bit more and then I asked "I'm just curious - who was that big guy that was in here dropping off those 45s the other day?" The counter guy says "Oh, that was Crocus Behemoth from Rocket From The Tombs - except he's gone back to his real name David Thomas and has a band called Pere Ubu now."

It wasn't until later that I learned that Rocket From The Tombs was *thee* number one early/mid-70s punk band from the Cleveland, and that Pere Ubu were already well on their way to becoming arguably Ohio's most influential/least known band ever.

So that's how I discovered The Cramps, with some added details/name dropping to juice my street cred just a tad.

I would like to now fast forward about 20 years to this interesting piece of Cramps trivia.

The tall, red-haired woman that played the killer psychobilly lead guitar for the band was Poison Ivy. Ms. Ivy and the late Lux Interior were married for 37 years (alright!). For the past 15 years or so they operated a small vintage clothing/50's kitsch store in northern California within driving distance of my good pal Sylvia's house.

Pretty cool, eh?

By the way, The Cramps first full length album "Songs The Lord Taught Us" from 1982 comes with my highest recommendation. It is without question in my top 25 albums of all-time - wild & wicked psychobilly coupled with some absolutely hilarious lyrics. "Gravest Hits" (1979) and "Psychedelic Jungle" (1984?) are also outstanding.

The band released a slew of albums after that, but unfortunately they sort of drifted into self-parody. Although a few of those releases contain a killer track or two, I would steer clear of most of the later albums.

Below is a brief video tribute to Lux Interior. There's quite a few more on youtube. Unfortunately there are not any really quality performances of "Human Fly" available on video.

I would normally say "Rest In Peace," but I can't imagine that would be anything that Lux Interior would want, so I'll just say "Thanks for doing it right" instead.


"Tear It Up" (live):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCQ4QLFl01g

"Garbageman" (official video):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVLpaiH2hbQ

"The Way I Walk" (live - Napa State Mental Hospital):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2i-g8ZycNU

[Note: see youtube (or me!) for more of The Cramps legendary performance at The Napa State Mental Hospital]




"i was a teenage werewolf
braces on my fangs
i was a teenage werewolf
and no one even said thanks.
a midwest monster
of the highest grade
and all my teachers
thought it was growing pains"
(the cramps)


"my daddy drives a UFO
he drops me off
& then he goes"
(the cramps)


"yeah i'm just what you need
when you're down in the dumps
one half hillbilly and one half punk
big long legs and one big mouth
the hottest thing from the north
to come out of the south . . .
so stick out your can
'cause i'm the garbageman"
(the cramps)


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Dayton City Paper "Critic's Pick"

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The Dayton City Paper's music critic, Kyle Melton, agrees with me that the ANDREW AND THE PRETTY PUNCHERS show at J. Alan's is the place to be this Friday night.

From his "Critic's Pick" column:

"With their stellar debut album, Goodbye Ohio, still making the rounds, ANDREW AND THE PRETTY PUNCHERS continue to build off their success of the past 18 months . . . the band is already well on their way toward completion of a follow-up album as well as some rumored side projects . . .

If you want to catch a sneak peek at a band transitioning toward becoming arguably the best group in Dayton, head out and witness ANDREW AND THE PRETTY PUNCHERS live. They are one of the most uplifting, cathartic, and outright celebratory live acts you will see . . . Admission is FREE."


"Uplifting?" . . . "cathartic?" . . . "outright celebratory"

Agreed, agreed, and finally - agreed.

I would also add "drop-dead pee yer pants sexy" to those descriptors - especially that drummer:

oh. ...... . . my. . ...... . god.

but of course that's just my personal opinion.


See blog post below for show details.

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*Free* Rock Show, Friday the 6th

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ANDREW AND THE PRETTY PUNCHERS will be playing this Friday, February 6th at J. Alan's (121 N. Ludlow) and . . .

IT'S FREE!


*Tentative* starting times:

Mascot (solo - acoustic folk) 10:00 - 10:30

Jesse Remnant (solo - acoustic pop rock) 10:45 - 11:15

ANDREW AND THE PRETTY PUNCHERS (melodic & godlike folk/pop/rock) 11:30 - ???

Come one. Come all.


Did I mention that IT'S FREE?!



(J. Alan's is located at 121 North Ludlow, across the street from where ye olde Lazarus/Rike's building used to be and the Schuster Center now stands)
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Fun With My Head: A Photographic Essay

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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . FINI







. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (the artiste at rest)





COMING SOON: The Night My Head Got Laid: A Photographic Essay.

Through a series of photographs this upcoming essay will attempt to portray the act of human sexual congress as it progresses from foreplay to consummation (as always . . . god willing).

The photos used in the essay will be limited entirely to close-ups, and/or details of existing photos, of my head and its features, both inside and out.

As with today's essay (Fun With My Head), the artiste will be limited to the use of a single camera. And of course - his head.

Just kidding.  

I am not really going to do this.

Thank you.

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