Much to my delight, they've opened a new Subway about a half a mile from my apartment. To celebrate this blesséd event, coupons were sent out about two weeks ago, and then identical coupons were mailed once again over the weekend. Included in each of those sets of mailers were two coupons for a *free* 6 inch sub at the new store - no purchase necessary. So that means I have four free sub coupons that do not expire until June 30th, right?
Wrong.
The three elderly folks that I share a mailbox with always pitch their junk mail into a shared trash can by the front door. Yep. That's right. I snatched up them sonsabitches and so I now have *16* coupons for a free sub. And since I drink water (no soda for this guy - how do you think I keep this ghoul-uh . . . I mean, girlish figure?) - that's 80 bucks worth of free grub!
Now that's what I call *REAL* sandwich value!
Butt weight . . . there's more!
In case you didn't know, Tuesday is "free cookie" day at Subway. Guess where you can find me every Tuesday until July? That's right. I'll be at Subway!
But my story doesn't end here.
Today, while I was enjoying my free 6 inch BMT on wheat (not toasted) with all da trimmins, what four songs should happen to come on the in-store music station? It would be these four songs:
"I Feel Good" by James Brown "
"Kid" by The Pretenders
"Everlasting Love" by Robert Knight . . . and
"Teddy Bear" by The King himself, Elvis Presley
Oh yeah. That music station went "yard" four times . . . folks, we're talkin' four "taters" . . . back-to-back-to-back-to-back!
It don't get much better than this, people.
"You load 16 subs
And whatdya get?
Another pound bigger*
And closer to death"
(M. Travis/K. Smith)
*ED. NOTE: that would be another pound *per sub* - your poundage may vary.
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