My whole body is a-weepin' -uh . . . I mean - "a weapon"

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(Photo taken immediately after walking briskly (i.e. with vim and vinegar) for 2.55 miles. Please note sweat in my neck region - also at the top of the monstrous land mass known to cartographers as "Kevin's Forehead." Please *do not* note how my nose looks like a little penis complete with - thanks to the sides of my nostrils - sidecar-like tiny testicles)

I am very happy to report that I have another day under my belt in my recent quest to make what hangs *over* my belt, disappear.

That's right. I just completed my third consecutive day of brisk walking around the borders of the old folk's compound where I am currently being housed.

Here are the numbers:

DAY THREE:

Temperature: 84 degrees
Humidity: 51 per cent
# of laps: 3
Distance per lap: 0.85 miles

TOTAL DISTANCE WALKED: 2.55 miles


And speaking of scrotums (see note underneath photo above) . . . after two abysmal, and somewhat painful, failures with tighty-whiteys and boxer shorts, I am happy to report that today's undergarment of choice (boxer briefs) cut back considerably on the crotch chafing (photos available upon request).

Thanks for your support (uh, I mean *you guys* . . . not the boxer briefs).

A special "shout out" to that slim and trim lass, Miss Penny Lee, for highlighting just how freakin' out of shape I am, and then encouraging me to do something about it.


"I - am - a - *new* man! . . . HOT FREAKS!"
(R. Pollard)

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