I’ve always been a big fan of the Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack. I bought it went it first came out back in the 70s and still listen to it on occasion. So I was pleasantly surprised when I stumbled onto the movie while channel surfing late one night last week.
Unfortunately, about a half hour into the movie my mood changed pretty quickly.
I mean - what a crock of shit. I can’t believe for one second that the guy didn’t see it coming.
Give me a fuckin’ break.
As a general rule, when a group of folks ask you to haul a goddamn 120 pound wooden cross for a couple of miles you can assume that they’re up to no good. But no - the guy hauls it anyway.
And that ain’t even the worst part.
Get this. His *old man* put him up to the whole thing!
"Son of God" my butt. How about "Son of Psycho"
I mean, c’mon! What kind of father would make his own flesh and blood do a thing like that? Yeah, yeah, I made my son take out the garbage every once in a while, but a sack of garbage is not near as heavy as a wooden cross, and besides it was downhill to our trash cans and from what I understand that Calvary hike was like straight up.
To be honest, I'm not sure I'll ever watch the movie again.
Because I know the next time I'm gonna just wanna reach into the screen and grab the guy by the neck and scream: "Jesus *CHRIST* Jesus Christ! Can’t you see that this whole fucking thing is a set-up, man?! You gotta get in front of this and you gotta do it now. There ain't gonna be no Abraham/Isaac change in plans or no last minute reprieve. This shit is *really* going down. My sins ain't your problem. You gotta ditch the old guy. I mean he was an "absent father" anyway. Joe held down the fort! C'mon man - you're one of my heroes dammit!" But it wouldn’t matter none cause you know he’d still haul the damn thing up the hill and people would pat him on the back for it and say "thanks."
What a waste.
I mean - excuse me, but didn’t anyone *for just one second* think about calling some type of Family Service agency or something to report the old man? And don’t give me that "divine family" crap. "Divine" my ass. Try "dysfunctional."
What a joke.
And people wonder why they’re still fighting over there.
(taken from the unpublished ANNALS OF POSTAL BLOWFISH, 1995, with revisions from 2008)
1 comment:
your bitterness about jesus' crucifixion brings to mind those somewhat harrowing yet proudly sung opening lines from patti smith's first album "horses," doncha think?:
"jesus died for somebody's sins
but not mine . . .
my sins, my own
they belong to me . . . me"
(p. smith)
food for thought, cowboy.
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