Rock And Roll Resume 1954 - 1992
1954 - Born. Elvis Presley records first song.
1955 - 1958 - Can't recall.
1959 - Drive to Chicago with parents. Hum chase theme from "The Lone Ranger" across entire state of Indiana.
1960 - 1962 - Begin to hear strains of Johnny Mathis drifting from sister's bedroom. Am not impressed.
1963 - Buy first radio (Magnavox, 10 transistor). Sleep with it under pillow for next three years.
1964 - Watch Beatles on Ed Sullivan. Cry because they show no close-ups of Ringo.
1965 - Mother & father inform me that it is OK to like Beatles. Declare Rolling Stones off limits. Borrow latest Rolling Stones album from friend.
1966 - See Tina Turner perform on American Bandstand. Retire to bedroom. Miss supper.
1967 - McCrory's Department Store has first six Rolling Stones albums in mono for .39 (3 for $1.00). Don't buy them. Regret it later.
1968 - Mother drives me to Eastown Shopping Center. I buy first two records: Beatles Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and Creedence Clearwater Revival's first.
1969 - Placed in charge of music for St. Anthony Teen Club dances. Resign when club president demands that I play Bee Gees Greatest Hits.
1970 - See first concert: Grand Funk Railroad, Bloodrock, and Atomic Rooster. Friend smokes pot. I don't.
1970 - 197? - Drug/alcohol stage. Can't recall. (See 1955-1958).
1971 - Drive to first concert: Jefferson Airplane and Pure Prairie League at Hara Arena. Run off Needmore Road taking girlfriend home. Escape uninjured. Grounded for four weeks.
1972 - Lose virginity during second verse of Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love."
1973 - Leaving my feet, I crack head on doorway leading into family dining room while playing air guitar to Hendrix' "Foxy Lady." Regain consciousness approximately ten minutes later.
1974 - Almost go to St. Louis to see Bruce Springsteen.
1975 - Enter Bob Dylan phase. Refuse to listen to anything else. Visit James Dean's gravesite.
1976 - Save up $100. Buy first guitar. Never learn to play.
1977 - Patti Smith falls off stage at Bogart's in Cincinnati. Lands on me. She is drunk. Smells terrible. I feel lucky. Drive home very aroused.
1978 - Embrace punk/new wave movement. Drive to Subway Records in Cincinnati every week to buy 45s. See Elvis Costello at Bogart's. Almost go to see Sex Pistols in Texas.
1979 - Get first apartment. Roommate builds 12,000,000 watt amplifier. Plays Rolling Stones Sticky Fingers album. Amp smokes. Then melts.
1980 - Begin to follow local punk/new wave bands. Become infatuated with organ player for Human Switchboard. Get her autograph. Lead guitarist from The Dates approaches me after first set at Walnut Hills bar. Tells me I'm cute. Get his autograph.
1981 - Accidently run over cat on way to Toxic Reasons show. Friend cries. Run over another one on way home. Friend cries louder.
1982 - The Dates and Human Switchboard break up. Toxic Reasons move to LA. I sell approximately 500 records. Go to graduate school.
1983 - 1991 - Complete graduate school. Get a good job. Buy a new car. Get new girlfriend. Get new girlfriend pregnant. Get married. Have a baby. Get promoted. Buy a house. Separate. Get divorced.
1992 - Buy boombox for eight-year-old son. Gaze with envy & wonder as he dances from room to room.
(from the chapbook LAUGHING IN ITS FACE, 1993 - also published in The Dayton Voice; photo by me)
2 comments:
2009- realize that the band you just wrote about http://HumanSwitchboard.com have had a bit of a change. founder/lead singer gone off to prison for wiretapping prostitute girlfriend who told his bosses he was doing blow. being sentenced next month to prison... or probation. how times change ;)
www.HumanSwitchboard.com links to great village voice piece "from musician to convicted felon" kinda tune.
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